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Stop Being So Hard on Yourself , The Give a Damn Show (Ep. #4)

Ammanda Juriga
Sep 21
6 min read

Part of the "Stop Cleaning Alone — BeyondPro Founding 100" campaign.

There’s a very specific kind of guilt that shows up around 9 p.m.

You’ve finished the residential cleaning job. You’ve loaded the vacuum. You’ve answered three client messages, rescheduled one appointment, found a replacement cleaner, picked up supplies, and somehow remembered to feed everybody.

Then you’re finally sitting down, and your brain says:

“You missed a spot.”

Not the whole house. Not a major problem. One little detail.

But suddenly, that one missed detail feels like proof that you’re not good enough.

I know that feeling because I’ve lived it. And I know so many cleaning professionals who carry it around every single day.

Coffee beside a sign representing the early days of building a cleaning business

The day I cried in the driveway over the top of a refrigerator

There was a time when I was doing everything I could to make sure every job was perfect.

I wasn’t just trying to do excellent work. I was trying to prove something.

I wanted every client to be happy. I wanted nobody to have a reason to complain. I wanted every surface to shine, every corner to be handled, and every expectation to be exceeded.

And then one day, I missed the top of a refrigerator.

That was it.

The top of the refrigerator.

I found out about it, went outside, got into the driveway, and started crying.

Not because the top of the refrigerator was the end of the world. It wasn’t. I could go back and clean it. It was fixable.

I was crying because I was exhausted. I was carrying too much. I had connected one small mistake to my entire identity.

In my mind, missing that spot meant I had failed. It meant I wasn’t professional enough. It meant I had let somebody down. It meant maybe I didn’t deserve to be doing this at all.

Looking back, I can see what was really happening.

I wasn’t chasing excellence anymore.

I was chasing permission to feel good about myself.

And no cleaning job, no client review, and no perfectly polished kitchen can give you that if you don’t believe you’re allowed to be human.

The dirty truth about excellence and perfectionism

There’s a difference between caring deeply about your work and punishing yourself every time something isn’t flawless.

Excellence says:

“I care about the result. I’ll pay attention. I’ll fix what needs fixing. I’ll keep learning.”

Perfectionism says:

“If I make one mistake, I am the mistake.”

Those two things can look very similar from the outside. Both might have you checking your work. Both might have you learning new techniques. Both might have you wanting to deliver a better experience.

But they feel completely different on the inside.

Excellence leaves room for growth.

Perfectionism leaves you afraid to start, afraid to delegate, afraid to charge properly, and afraid to admit when you need help.

That matters in the cleaning industry because many of us started in survival mode. We were trying to get the next booking, pay the bills, keep clients happy, and hold our personal lives together.

There wasn’t always time to build systems. There wasn’t always somebody to call. There wasn’t always a community reminding us that a hard day didn’t mean we were bad at what we do.

So we learned to rely on ourselves for everything.

And when you’re used to doing everything yourself, self-criticism can start to feel like your quality-control system.

You tell yourself that if you’re hard enough on yourself, you’ll never get lazy. You’ll never miss anything. You’ll never disappoint anybody.

But here’s the problem: shame doesn’t make you more professional.

It makes you tired.

It makes you hide mistakes instead of addressing them. It makes you overwork. It makes you undercharge because you’re still trying to prove your value. It makes it harder to build a real business because you’re spending all your energy trying to survive the day.

Professional cleaner carefully wiping a kitchen countertop

Giving a damn doesn’t mean destroying yourself

The whole point of The Give a Damn Show is that caring matters.

We should care about the work. We should care about our clients. We should care about the people who trust us to enter their homes and businesses.

But giving a damn about your work also means giving a damn about yourself.

That means understanding that you can take responsibility without tearing yourself apart.

You can say:

  • “I missed that spot, and I’m going to fix it.”

  • “My communication could have been clearer.”

  • “I need a better checklist for this type of job.”

  • “I’m proud of how I handled the rest of the day.”

  • “I need support instead of pretending I’ve got everything under control.”

That’s not making excuses.

That’s being honest enough to improve.

Try the Give a Damn Challenge at the end of your day

Here’s the simple practice I want you to try for the next seven days.

At the end of your workday, before you let your brain run wild with everything that went wrong, ask yourself these three questions:

1. What went well?

Be specific.

Maybe you stayed calm with a difficult client. Maybe you finished a large move-out clean. Maybe you showed up even though you were tired. Maybe you trained someone patiently. Maybe you made a client feel cared for.

Don’t skip the small wins. They count.

2. What could I improve?

Not, “What did I do wrong because I’m terrible?”

Ask, “What’s one thing I can learn from today?”

Maybe you need to block more travel time. Maybe your pricing needs to change. Maybe you need a better way to track supplies. Maybe you need to stop accepting last-minute work that throws off your whole week.

Turn the mistake into information.

3. Did I genuinely give a damn?

This is the question that brings you back to what matters.

Did you show care? Did you try? Did you communicate? Did you do the best you could with the time, energy, tools, and information you had?

Sometimes the answer will be yes.

Sometimes the answer will be no, and that’s useful too. You can own it without spiralling. You can decide what needs to change tomorrow.

That’s the difference between accountability and self-punishment.

Cleaner’s hand wiping glass with a microfiber cloth

You don’t have to build your business alone

The move from survival mode to a real business doesn’t happen because you suddenly become perfect.

It happens when you stop expecting yourself to carry everything without support.

That’s one of the reasons we built the BeyondPro Network. Our Founding Member community is for cleaning professionals across Canada who want more than another motivational quote. It’s a place to access growth tools, training, business support, community, and new opportunities while building something that can actually support your life.

You don’t have to know everything before you join. You don’t have to have every system figured out. You don’t have to wait until you feel “official enough.”

You’re allowed to get support while you’re still becoming the business owner you want to be.

We’re also creating opportunities through our Founder’s Partnership Program for people who believe the cleaning industry deserves better and want to explore partnering with BTSS. That partnership can look different depending on the person, but the heart of it is the same: supporting a movement that brings more respect, structure, education, and opportunity to cleaning professionals.

And if you’re feeling completely wrung out right now, start smaller. The Give a Damn Reset Guide was created for those moments when you need to pause, clear your head, and find your next right step.

Not your next twenty steps.

Just the next one.

Required links and next steps

2) Founder's Partnership Program Connect with Beyond the Surface Solutions to learn more about the Founder's Partnership Program: https://www.beyondthesurfacesolutions.com

Watch or listen to the full episode

If this hit a little too close to home, you can watch The Give a Damn Show on YouTube or listen on Spotify.

And please don’t just listen to it while rushing through another task. Give yourself ten quiet minutes if you can. Sit in your car. Drink your coffee. Let the message land.

You are allowed to care about your standards without making yourself the enemy.

You are allowed to fix the missed spot and still be proud of the work you did.

You are allowed to grow without being cruel to yourself along the way.

Beyond the Surface Solutions movement focused on community, education, systems, professionalism, and opportunity

So, tonight, before you replay the entire day and make one small mistake bigger than it needs to be, ask yourself:

What went well? What could I improve? Did I genuinely give a damn?

Then let today be today.

Tomorrow, you can take what you learned and keep going.

Because building a better cleaning business starts with giving a damn about the person building it.

What would change in your business : or in the way you see yourself : if you measured your day by care and progress instead of perfection?

Your cleaning industry advocate ❤️ Ammanda

Rachel: +1 (705) 910-1211

 
 
 

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